I was just sitting chanting my mantras and meditating on my gurus, Lalita Prasad and Bhaktivinode. I was thinking about how they were both well placed government servants during their working lives. They also came from a well to do family. It seems they probably received good government pensions when they retired and more fully devoted themselves to devotional practices.
Lately, I have been remembering how in the early 70s I asked my other guru A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami to let me live in Vrindaban by begging and sleeping in a different place each night. He refused and said I should instead builld a temple there. It had taken me years to get to that point of detachment and depth of devotional practice.
Now, I am married, living in an American city, trying to make a living as an independent minister, spiritual guide and life coach. How difficult it is to concentrate on my meditations with all the distractions this life offers.
I believe it is necessary to be free of all material responsibilities and have a support sysytem in place to fully realize the true fruits of devotion allowing us to enter into the Vrindaban pastimes. I long for the day when I may be free to do so. I am also working on different plans will bring this about.
